A nice Sunday!

Finally, we feel better! Sunday, we took Joanna to the park nearby. It was a little humid but there was a nice breeze. Here's a couple of pics. :)

Happy Belated Easter

Ughhhh.......we are sick. Joanna's had a cough since last Thursday as well as I. Then Saturday we went out to eat with some friends when I felt my eye sting. It got pretty bad and in the morning, it was glue! So Sunday, Joanna gets her own Pink Eye. Took her to the clinic today. Gave me 5 different meds for her. It was heck giving them to her....she's tired of medicine.

She'll be out of school til Thursday.

We were too miserable to have an Easter for her yesterday, so we went to Target today to get her a few goodies.

So, happy Belated Easter to everyone....

Blog winner and a shout out.

I won an organizer from this blog, http://www.iknowamomblog.com/ . I really enjoyed reading her blog and its in my favorites.

The organizer is from this site, http://www.trulymom.com/ . I loooooooooove this site. I wish I had the moola for other things. I love their stationary. I have an online friend who now and then will mail me a letter...a letter! So, once I get the funds, I want to buy some special stationary to mail to her.

This is the organizer I won, http://www.trulymom.com/shop/product_info.php?cPath=34&products_id=271 . Wow, I will be almost afraid to write in this beautiful organizer. I hope it gives me the kick in the pants I need to start getting organized. Anyone who's seen my desk, knows I need it!

So big thanks to Whitney at http://www.iknowamom.com and Kim, Maria, Michelle and Kristen at http://www.trulymom.com !

Random happiness.....

My cat: Julissa:

The orchids I received for doing taxes:

To ER or not to ER

I finally broke down and agreed to go to the ER for my leg pain. Now I have a pain that, if it were on the right side, I would think it would be my appendix........but its on my left. And my leg pain is slowly spreading itself to my left buttock.

We get there and omg, what in the heck is a major city county hospital thinking??? 12 chairs in the ER. 3 pre-assessment rooms. A computer where you log in your complaints.

We stood next to a lady who had been there 3 hrs and hadn't even had her blood pressure checked. A woman who was soooo obviously in pain asked how much longer. She had chest pains and tingling in her hands and feet. The triage nurse (no fault of hers) told her she didn't know but soon. The lady said forget it and was leaving. Her eyes haunting me...so much pain...

The nurse was scribbling her name off the list and don't know what hit her but, she ran after the woman and got her to sit down.

I told Gabino...too many people worse off than me. All I wanted was to go home and lay down. This pain is ugh...but standing there for hours wasn't going to do diddly. And Joanna was upset when I left. So home I am. Took a goody and put my knee on a heating pad.

Another day....

Snow, I think.

This was 2 nights ago. It was gone in a hour. :) I don't envy those with the snowstorms but I wish we had enough to build a snowman. Whine whine.

Update on my mom.

Turns it out it was a small heart attack. :( She's out of the hospital. Seems and looks good.

The upside of today is Michael was hired by Braum's. Ice cream for everyone!

Explaining

I tried to explain to Joanna about adoption to see how much she understood. All she knows is that she has two mothers. I was too choked up to go further. Slowly but surely. Step by step. My heart breaks.

If it were up to me, she'd never know. I want to be the only one. Selfish? Normal? Who the heck knows?

My in-laws are ugh. I have to beat them to it. And I'm angry about that.

I'm so angry and tired and sad and selfish............

Reminder

Don't forget to visit my friend's website!
http://www.ibsurdities.ca/
Unique Visual Imagery
Check out her scratchboards too, they're awesome!

Other news

My nephew is here again. But this time, Gabino is dealing with him. No more "Hey, tell him to wash the dishes, take the trash, why is he still up, no more computer..." YOU TELL HIM. I'm not in it this time!

To be truthful, I don't want him here. Just another headache. I'm watching my mom, taking care of my niece's daughter, Joanna and the child-man I married. Plus my leg hurts so much, I'm in a bitchy mood all day. And now my nephew????

Gabino spoke to him, gave him a bunch of rules.....any one of them broken, he is out. Of course he nodded yes to every one of them. What else is he going to do?

I wish my nephew would grow some and work towards being independant. He supposedly wants to go back to school. Hmph. Gabino told him, once he's 18 in December and he's still here...he's paying rent. Whether it be $1 or $100....it won't be such a free ride anymore.

I know he can be a good kid but he's so much like his mom, he gets on my nerves. They want to be helpful but they want whatever done their way. Ugh.

Last night my sister asked him to watch Julissa because I'll be going to see my mom soon. I had no idea he told her he wanted to get paid. This morning when my other sister (his mom) dropped the baby off, she gave him $20.........I asked him what that was and that's when he said he was being paid for babysitting. He then gave me the money and said it was for food...we were out of milk.

Oh yeah, everything's hunky dory at first. I'm just waiting for the bomb to go off.

Someone's going to explode.

Mom in ER

She's doing ok.

Yesterday she had an appt in Plano and being the chicken I am driving in ice, I asked my sis to take her.

She no sooner arrived when they came right back. She fell ill with an embarrassing malady....she needed to change clothes, if you get my drift.

Afterwards, she laid down in bed. She started having the shivers, then would get hot.

Finally she complained that she couldn't breathe. So because it was almost the same symptoms of her heart attack last July, I suggested the ER. The paramedics came, checked her out and mentioned that one lung sounded wet.

ER said the same...she had fluid in her lungs. So they kept her....and they are doing dialysis right now. They haven't given her a room,, they full.

So, that's our scare for the week. :(

Computer's got hit with the bug, too.

From what I am reading on tech forums, its a corrupt registry thing. At the welcome screen, the user icon is missing. I can't log on. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh

I will have to reformat. Thank goodness I have a separate hard drive for my music and photos. And thank goodness for this laptop!

Another thing....I do taxes for my relatives online. I use Turbotax.com Its free for them and I like doing them.

well, as usual, they've got their friends coming to me........my SIL's neighbor was the latest one. But, I called today to make sure they got their direct deposit. He was so happy, he said he had something for me. My SIL brought it over......an orchid plant and $50. Whoo hoo! I always say I do them for free but its nice to be appreciated!

I'll have to take a pic of the orchid. I've never had anything so fancy! :)

Sick!

Tuesday Joanna had a fever. Once it was up to 105. It was 4am so I went online to see how to break it without covering her totally up. So first link is about egg whites. Soak cloths or paper towels in egg whites and then wrap the feet in them. Either put socks on or ziplocs. So I did. 30min later she was cool and was able to sleep for 3 hrs.

Later that night, again, high fever. So Wednesday, took her to the clinic. They did a stick on her finger and checked for strep. Normal test is 6.8.......she had 21.8. Shot in the butt, antibiotics. 1hr later she was good to go. Today we went for a follow up shot. She cried but was really brave too. Mostly because she knew why we were there and didn't put up a fight. I love my girl!

She missed the whole week of school.....ughhh. And I still didn't get to sleep in!!! LOL

And now, I don't know what I ate but, I'm visiting the throne every 5min. Sigh...at least I'm getting some reading done. Hee hee!

What else am I suppose to do??

We were over at my SIL's house on Sunday. It was nice, MIL was there as well as SIL's two grown daughters.

Then.....one of them said "Does Joanna still get a knot in the back of her hair like her mama's?"

I smiled and said, "I never got knots in the back of my hair.......but her biological mother does."

But I was dying inside......seems that no matter how long or what's done.........to his family, Miriam is the mama. I'm just his wife....who's taking care of Joanna.

Joanna will know she's adopted........in our own time. But this is not the first time they mention Miriam as her "mama".....

I wish they could at least respect my feelings. Its bad enough that I fear for the day Joanna yells at me that I'm not her real mom.....and i've heard stories that it will eventually happen in the heat of a moment.

I guess all I can do is continue to love my baby.........she is my baby....I felt it the second I saw her 4 1/2 yrs ago.

I just wish I didn't care what his family thought.

Happy Valentine's Day

O Canada

I have a very talented Canadian friend who has started her own business. I think she rocks!

http://www.ibsurdities.ca/

Unique Visual Imagery

Check out her scratchboards too, they're awesome!

My bad side

Hubby recently found his daughter on youtube.com. Long story but, all he does now is come home and see if she posted any new videos. I try to understand but I do get angry. And jealous. Only because I don't think he's happy here and he's getting happy somewhere else.

Anyway......she is trying to be a singer. She has gotten jobs at local shows and such. He's so proud of her. He says he's not going to tell her anything.........

But I have to admit how mean I am. She posted a new video today and what I saw was that she can't dance worth crap. And I smiled. I smiled.

I'm going to hell.

Counseling

There was a slip of paper in Joanna's backpack the day before yesterday. It said that my child has been referred to the counselor for counseling. I had to sign it if I agreed to her having the counseling. So, I called to see what up. She was very nice. Joanna's teacher suggested it because.... 1. She's super shy. 2. She's over dependant. 3. She wants the teacher's attention all the time.

Yeah, I knew that already.

1. For the first two years of Joanna's life, it was just the two of us. I didn't know anyone in Mexico. So, the only face she saw was mine except for the few trips to the neighbors. Hubby came down every 2 weeks but it was probably 24hrs total he was there. So, she really doesn't know how to interact with other kids.

2. She has a bad habit of saying she can't do something. Believe me, I do not do everything for her. I saw how my nieces and nephews can't do squat for themselves and if Joanna later says she did it without help, I will be happy. Of course, we are here for the big stuff. But to make a sandwich? She can do it and does. But, obviously, she is using the can't do it at school.

3. She loves her teacher and we explained to her that she has 18 other kids to watch and teach. But, Joanna loves approval and probably wants her to say "Good girl" for every little thing.

I agreed to the counseling. She said that it was a small group of kids, one on one time and lots of reinforcement on thing and choices the kids make on their own.

One of the newest things is that Joanna wants to be escorted to her class by someone when we arrive at the door. I tell her she can do it herself and has!

I had to laugh this morning.......she had her first counseling yesterday...and now raises her fists up and says "I can do it!"

Well this morning, we're walking up to the door and she raised her fists up and said "I can do it!" and walked to the lady at the door and said "Will you walk me to my class?"

OMG.

I love a good deal but, really!

I have a notebook adapter listed on Craigslist. The cable company goofed and brought it when I was getting set up for wireless by mistake. I paid for it anyway. $30. I have it listed for $20.

Here's the email I just received:

HIM: hello, how negotiable are you on the price? i am very interested in one for my son's laptop.thanks also where about in xxx are you located?

ME: Firm on price. I paid $30 through time warner and it is listed at $29 on Amazon. TimeWarner messed up in bringing it and it was too much hassle to return it, so I didn't use it. Thanks!

HIM: thanks for your respond, Amazon.com has it for $22.50. and the fact that i have to come to xxx from xxx i have to spend at least 5.00 for gas, i can pay u $15.00. i am going for jury duty 2morrow if come to xxx i can meet u somewhere or if i can get out early i can meet u in xxx .thanks

ME: Wrong link. The one I have ishttp://www.amazon.com/Linksys-WPC54G-Wireless-G-Notebook-Adapter/dp/B00007KDVK/Model is WPC54G , not WPC54GX4The one you linked has $8 shipping, so it would still be $30 for you.Plus, from what I see on craigslist, I'm the lowest price.Thanks!

HIM: so is there any room for negotiation? also are u coming to xxx 2morrow around down town, like i mentioned, i have jury duty and i'm sure we get an houre for lunch, i can meet u somewhere in the midle.thanks

ME: Again, I'm sorry. I can't go downtown. That'd be $5 of my own gas.I'm not making any profit as it is, just put it out there for someonewho might use it. Thanks for the interest.

A BIG FAT SIGH.

Then he responds that if he gets out of jury duty early, he'll come and buy it. I don't think I've ever haggled with someone like that. I usually price really low to sell fast. Whew!

10 years together

Wow! Hubby and I have made it to the 10yr mark. I have to say right away, it has been hard!

We physically met on Dec. 26th, 1997. We got married Jan. 9, 1998. It was not supposed to last. It was for other reasons that we married at all.

But here we are. 10yrs later. :)

We've both have suffered each other but something keeps us going. I'm not going to deny any of the hardships, they are what make the good parts of us better.

All I can say is, I'm thankful I had him by my side these past 10yrs. Thank you, Gabino.

OMG, CMT is playing Pure Country. I Cross My Heart is our song. A sign that we will forge on? :)