When we decided to take Momma off the machines. I didn't feel anything. When we gathered around her, it was unreal. I didn't feel anything. Until I heard my sister scream and then, I just lost it. It was real. I totally expected my mom's heart to beat on its own. I totally expected her to breathe on her own and be ok. My mom had been so strong all this time. It was the worst wake up call ever. My mom was gone.
Its been 8 months today. I think about her everyday. Every.day. And I'm counting them down til the 8th of every month. I don't cry as much, maybe only once a day.
I asked Sabrina if the kids talk about her? She sounded surprised I asked. She said yes, especially Michael. She said that they talk about how Nana told them stories of when she was in school and such. It made my heart jump with happiness. I know Michael was really close to her even through our trials and tribulations with him. He's got her big heart.
My thing is what I could have done? You are not suppose to live with regret but, I do. Big ones. Big big ones. My biggest one is not telling her just how much she is loved by all of us. Yeah, you could say she knew but saying it to her....I'm sorry Momma. I love you so much.
OUR WEDDING!! - Well it's been awhile since I've blogged about anything...and trust me sooo much has been going on...Mario started High school, Nathalie is off at colleg...
6 years ago