Friday, January 30, 2009

Asking for forgiveness.

Gabino told me that in one of the times he saw my mom, he asked her for forgiveness for anything he may have done.

I won't be doing that. I deserve whatever torment I may be in for whatever I may have done. I won't ask for forgiveness to soothe my soul but, I will apologize. I will say I'm sorry for any and all pain I may have given her.

Her dialysis dr says basically one step forward, two steps back. Now she has an infection. They took all lines out to get cultures to pinpoint where its coming from. And they changed the central line and the catherer is now in her thigh. Belinda had mentioned that she was told by someone that after 2 weeks, they put a trach in place of the breathing tube. Dr. says depends on situation.

I got to figure out one thing she was trying to say. She had her hand like scratching something and after naming all body types, I got to head and she nodded yes. Yay!!

I told my mom that Joanna drew a picture for her and she made a grimace. I asked her if she was crying and she nodded yes.

Joanna got to see her afterwards. She had drawn a picture for her and bought her a "nana angel" pin and I did want her to see that we gave them to Nana. Belinda had to point out another kid that was allowed to go back there, so they said Joanna could too. I think Joanna finally realized how real this is and she cried tears later for her Nana.

One of the things that make me so sad is she says she sees me but, her gaze is straight on. I don't get that. And she doesn't close her eyes all the way...

Oh my momma, I love you so much. Please come back to us.

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